The Blame Game

Breast cancer, how’d that happen?

…It must be in my genes, after all my twin sister just had ovarian cancer last year.

…It’s got to be the environment… I did grow up next to Otis Air Force Base, and they are known to have engaged in practices that have made people in the community sick.

…Dense breast tissue, yes that’s it, I had dense breast tissue and women like me are at a much higher risk of developing breast cancer.

It’s not MY fault!

How could it be? I’ve spent more than 1/2 of my adult life overweight – but I wasn’t that fat, so it was okay. I exercised a few times a week (on a good week), I consumed a bottle of wine a week (most weeks) – but it was okay, because it was red and that’s good for you. I drank 32 ounces of diet coke (or however big that McDonald’s $1 cup is) at least 5 days a week- but hey, it was okay, at least I wasn’t eating their food. I operated under a high-level of stress at least 60% of the time for almost 4 years – nobody’s fault but mine, I should’ve managed it better – but it was okay, because I loved what I did for a living. And well, that’s just some of it! As you can see, I was healthy and was taking great care of myself, there isn’t any way I could have created an environment hospitable to those insane little cancer cells that invaded my space and tried to kill me!

In reality, I’ll never know what caused my cancer. However, if I just focus on the things out of my control, in order to make myself feel better, I’d be insane and irresponsible.

Insanity = doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I’m not aloud to be insane – there’s too much at stake. They caught my cancer early, but there’s still a 20% chance it could come back – that means there’s an 80% chance it won’t! That’s not good enough for me. Funny thing about the medical community – they only advised me to take tamoxifen – keep doing what I’ve always done and I’d be fine they told me. It’s almost as if they want people to be sick – but that’s a whole other blog post.

Cleaning up my act…

It’s been a gradual process over the last several months, but here’s what I’ve accomplished:

  • A job with a lot less stress (as of January)
  • Consuming at least 2 green juices a day (as of August)
  • Kicked the diet coke habit (as of January)
  • Kicked the coffee habit (as of Sunday of this week)
  • No more dairy, meat or gluten (as of Sunday of this week)
  • Walking 3 miles a day, at least 4 days a week (as of September)
  • No processed foods (as of Sunday)
  • No more alcohol (except for very rare occasions)

I started slow – diet coke and de-stressing came first. The idea of taking one or two “bad habits” and turning them into good ones (juicing/ replacing coffee with hot lemon water) has really helped me.

Adventure Cleanse!

I bought Chris Karr’s “Crazy Sexy Diet” book several months ago. I wasn’t ready for her 21 Day Adventure Cleanse at the time, but this is my week – these are my 21 days. I just completed my 5th day of clean eating and I feel amazing! There’s no limit to the amount of healthy food I can eat so I’m not hungry. I’m not tempted to “cheat” either – as was evident by my ability to pass up the Cold Stone Creamery buffet at work the other day! I love the bursts of energy and overall feeling of happiness I have this week. I know I can do this a lot longer than 21 days – as in forever.

Isaiah and Andrew’s Mom

Sure, I want to stay healthy for me, but more importantly I want to make sure Isaiah and Andrew have their mom for a long, long time. Next month I’ll turn 37, that’s the age my father was when he died. Having a serious health issue in my 36th year makes this fact all the more sobering. My father’s situation was different, nothing to do with cancer. I was in 5th grade when he died, the grade Isaiah is in now. I’m awake now! I’m determined to do all that is within my power to stay healthy.

I can’t be the only person that was too busy living to take care of their health, maybe this post will inspire one of my friends to replace one bad habit with a good one. Diet coke for green juice? Coffee for hot lemon water? Anyone?

Thanks for reading!

Much love,



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