Is this a surprising blog title coming from the girl who used to work for the American Cancer Society and had the honor (yes, honor) of planning the first ever Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Belleville?
To my dear friends who are Sista Strut, Strides, Komen and Avon supporters: Let me say up front… I thank you for all you have done to raise funds for breast cancer research. I respect and understand that it is comforting, and likely empowering for you to participate in these events.
Here are my reasons for saying F@CK PINK (in no particular order).
- I’m ANGRY! After being told they were “99% sure” it wasn’t cancer; I heard the words “turns out, this is a breast cancer” while in my cubical at work. First thing I said was “WHAT THE F@CK” (yes, to the doctor). It pisses me off that I had to tell my kids “mom has cancer.” It INFURIATES me that I had to wait 5 weeks to know that my cancer was caught early and that I would be okay. It makes me MAD AS HELL that while out celebrating 11 years of marriage I got a call confirming there was cancer in my lymph nodes. (Have no fear, on our 11 year and 1 month anniversary we re-did our date at the WineTap. We even sat at the same table!
- PINK is too F@CKING HAPPY! Breast cancer is not a “happy” thing. I personally never want to CELEBRATE that I had breast cancer, (celebrating my life is something I’ll continue to do on November 23rd). Wait, no, it’s actually something I do every day by always working to live up to my potential and to use the gifts and talents God gave me in the best way I know how.
- (NO) thanks for the F@CKING REMINDER! I don’t want to walk through the grocery store in the fall and be reminded that this disease interrupted my life. I don’t want my kids to see PINK and think of me. I don’t want to walk or run in an event. Once treatment is over, I plan to FORGET ABOUT BREAST CANCER! Well, I’ll still have to see my oncologist and stuff for a while… but he’s great. Instead I will focus on “LIVE STRONG” and commit myself to clean eating, lower stress (my new job is already helping with that) and more exercise.
- PINK is STILL too F@CKING HAPPY! Okay, I want everyone to know that I will be okay. My cancer is stage 2a (stage 1 would be better, but hey – it’s still early). What about people who have breast cancer that is ADVANCED? The pink movement doesn’t talk much about what’s called metastatic breast cancer. One of my true ROCKS through this whole experience is a woman who grew up on Cape Cod (like me). We never met as kids, but she has been there for me in a truly amazing way. She has metastatic breast cancer. Please look at this link and raise your awareness about stage 4 breast cancer, the PINK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!. http://mbcaware.org/
- I don’t want to INSPIRE you! Pink is so happy… it’s so inspiring… right? Well, not to me. God has blessed me with an amazing life. I love life! I have traveled a really unique and interesting path and I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it (well, okay, I’d change getting cancer). If you want to be inspired – I hope it is because I’m a damn good mama, a good wife, a good friend and someone who does good work in her community.
I can sum up how I feel with something I learned during my time at Gateway180 (homeless shelter). We made it clear that the families staying at the shelter were NOT “homeless families” they were “families experiencing homelessness.”
I am NOT a “breast cancer patient” I am a “person experiencing breast cancer”… AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!! I refuse to BECOME my challenge!
Thanks to my friends and family for your amazing support. I am blessed to have you in my life!